Life.

So my blog has pretty much been a constant string of strange/funny stories from my life. Everything needs to be mixed up once in a while, so here is a serious blog post:

I have been emotionally hit my a semi-truck the past few weeks. Life has really thrown shit in my face. I think Anne Lamott put it best when she wrote, "it's like a little chickadee being hit by an H-bomb." I won't go into the details of how the world as I knew it has collapsed, but I will reflect.

I have been raised to be the person I am to this day. And somewhere along the line I was given the gift of having an overwhelming large heart. I give so much to the people I care about in my life, sometimes too much. I don't want to give the overused quote by St. Augustine but I kind of half to. He was so right: "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." I take this attitude into all of my relationships. With friends, significant others, family, whomever. I see the beauty in people and want to give. So what I do is I wear my heart on the outside of my body. I give it up. Maybe what I do is terribly reckless and hurtful. But it lets me truly open up to relationships and love in the deepest meaning of the word.

I know that my life is richer because of this, but it just hurts so much when someone just grabs my heart that is resting so peacefully in the open and stomps it. Or worse, just carries it in their back pocket...Never really using it, but never really caring for it. Just keeping it there, just in case.

I just want to say that to anyone who is reading this: let love in. Love all the time. Don't shy away from it or not take the risk. Jump in cannon-ball style and make a huge splash. Don't be tentative or be one of those really annoying people who just walks into the pool and gets are shivery when it hits the "sensitive" areas.

Because even with all the hurt that I am feeling, I can truly say that I am a better person for it and it was totally worth it.